Sunday, February 12, 2006

Mixture of Emotions

I'm so full of different emotions right now that I'm numb. Like a zombie of a bad horror movie (which I'm a closet fan of).
I'm feeling scared, in love, happy, and frustrated.

Let's break it down, shall we?
  • Scared - I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow for my newly discovered multiple sclerosis. Dr. Jonathan Carter is his name at the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale. I hear he's the best of the best. Not to mention that he works in a well-renowned clinic. Obviously very popular clinic too as I attempted to make an appointment on Friday and was told that there's a waiting list AND those on the waiting list are not usually accepted as patients. But my cutey neurologist doctor (who I think was flirting with me during my visit...another story for another time), Dr. Gregory Hunter, pulled some strings and got me into the Mayo Clinic ASAP. Anyway, going back to being scared, I don't know what's going to happen. My baby is in Kentucky and wish he were with me to hold my hand.
  • In Love - With a certain 6'4" hottie by the name of Brian. My new love. My soulmate. He's moving out here with me in about a month so we can start the wonderful married life that most people dreamt of. What happen to John, you may be asking. Well, I ended it for various reasons. John was a great great guy, but I think he would just make a better friend than husband material. I also did not move out to Phoenix and start my career as an Accountant only to move three years later to a small town with NO job market and work at Lowe's or American Eagle while some Accountant job comes up. Wow, run on sentence. Anyway, that's that.
  • Happy - Thanks to Brian, my decision about John, my happy pills, and my career, I have no reason not to be happy. Oh yeah, the MS thing. Well, nothing I can do about it but fight it and not let it take over my life and kill me softly. Roberta Flack....good times. Sorry for my scatter brain tonight folks. It's all over the place.
  • Frustrated - Because I see two of everything. Oh look! There are now 8 lanes on the freeway. Um, no, Robert, there's only 4. Oh look! The lady at Starbuck's gave me two coffees instead of one. Um, no, there's only 1 cup in front of you, now pick it up and get your ass to work cuz you are late. I want to see one of everything again. Too frustrating!
So thanks to everybody out there in cyberworld (Hot Toddy, Abbie, Michael) and people around me for the love and support. I am soaking it all in. Y'all good people are another reason why I'm so happy, too.

I'm finally taking my mother's advice and just take days one at a time. That's what I intend to do. Thanks mom! :)


Blogger Robert said...

Awh. Take great care of yourself Robert, but it sounds like you already are. In your world, everything starts with you! :-)

7:30 AM  

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