Calgon Take Me Away!!!

Let's take a look at today, shall we?

• I was almost rear-ended (not the good kind) on the way to work. Luckily, I moved out of the way just in time before the car hit mine. Unfortunately, the car in front of me got it from them instead.
• On my way to a going-away lunch for a coworker, not only did it rain on me on my walk over to P.F. Chang's but I also got a lovely bath from a passing city bus.
• At P.F. Chang's sitting there drenched with road goo from the bus incident, I tried to use chopsticks and ended up dropping my food on my crotch. Did I mention this food was fish???
• Back at work, while printing a one-page document, my printer decided to go crazy on me by printing a lot of this: dfa4r35$%$*(&#$(&8(&c(*&(*&d(*&sjkdafjoejacpejrnck;jda$*)$, over and over and over. Page after page. Even after rebooting my computer and printer, it kept going.

So when I take my dirty fish-smelling ass home today, I'm going to huff and puff on a cigarette like there's no tomorrow and lock myself away in my apartment until morning, when it all starts again.