Monday, August 29, 2005

I Heart Anderson Cooper

He's so dreamy!

Friday, August 26, 2005

I Got A Really Bad Case of the "Blahs" Today

My mind is so full of thoughts, yet I can't make any sense of it all, let alone write it here.
So I will make a list of what's in my noggin' right now. Some...ok, most will not make any sense, but just humor me as you read and nod your head like you understand:

  • My allergies are killing me that I have to walk around with my nose all up in there like a snobby bizzo to avoid leaving a trail of slippery gooey stuff behind me.
  • I'm hungry but at the same time I feel so fat and full.
  • I'm having second thoughts about the relationship I am in....perhaps I'm destined to be alone forever and ever.
  • I can't wait to go home and sleep like a baby.
  • Friend got me some chronic yesterday....tried it....doesn't do a damn thing other than stink up my house.
  • I hate people.
  • I hate misunderstandings.
  • Shit, I hate communication of any sort altogether.
  • It's sad that what I'm looking forward to the most about this upcoming weekend is selling my CDs and clothes at local shops for extra $$$.
  • It's sad that I have 3 cats and I talk to them like they are real people.
  • I hate the crime that our city has been plagued with recently. Good thing I live on the east side and all that shit happens on the west side.
  • I can't think of anything else. Blah I say!

Monday, August 22, 2005

I Heart Family Guy

Saturday, August 20, 2005

A Love Story - Final Chapter

After Christmas and New Year's, it was back to the same old boring life here in Phoenix without my baby. It is torture for me to be without him, and during this period, it was the hardest time. Due to his work schedule, I wouldn't be able to see him until April at the earliest....3 months away. I contemplated breaking up with him due to this whole long-distance relationship being too hard for me. But once again, that was selfish on my part (something that I am working on).

April finally came and my sister was in town for a conference. John came down to visit the next day after my sister arrived...the two most important people in my life were together under my roof. I was on cloud nine. My sister and John got along great, and after her conference was done, she left a bit early to allow John and I some quiet alone time.

During this visit, everything finally cemented in our relationship. Meaning that all insecurities and any negative thoughts about us and the relationship finally disappeared. We were finally an old married couple. :)

John left and I was finally ok and oh so secure about us and everything. In July, it was my turn to visit him in Missouri and it was the best visit yet!!!! I now look forward to moving to Missouri and be with him forever in about two years (I have some stuff I have to work on in the meantime). By the way, John will be back during Labor Day weekend. YAAAY! :)

So without further ado, here's a picture of John and I:

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Something That Made Me Giggle Today

Thanks to Narcissism 101 for the link and the laugh.

Of course, can't post this picture without adding the "Brusha Brusha Brusha" lyrics from the movie Grease.

Brusha, Brusha, Brusha

Get the new Ipana
With the brand new flavor
Its dandy for your teeth
Brusha, Brusha, Brusha
New Ipana toothpaste
Brusha, Brusha, Brusha
Knock out
Decay Germs Fast, Fast, Faster
You're sure alright

Monday, August 08, 2005

A Love Story - Part Three

Soon after I got home from visiting John in September, I began to realize how much I missed him. I know, I know, I kept flip-flopping over my feelings for him. I've constantly had this problem with guys (and come to think of it, people in general). I have this "Come Here/Go Away" attitude with them. Like they are supposed to be there only when I feel like it.

So I was missing him like crazy, and couldn't wait to see him again. The next visit was Thanksgiving. He came down to visit me and had a "drama-free" time. Well, almost best friend who was cooking Thanksgiving dinner for us was having a horrible time with her boyfriend. After a huge fight at my apartment, her boyfriend ended up leaving. My first selfish thought: "Now who's gonna take out the 25lb turkey from the deep fryer???" Yep, we fried a turkey. One word...DELICIOUS!

So anyway, my friend's boyfriend came back after they reconciled on the phone. We had Thanksgiving dinner, although it was a bit awkward because of the tension between the two of them.

John couldn't stay very long as he was going to China for a business trip later on that week, so he left on the Sunday after Thanksgiving.

His China trip came and I was very very paranoid about him going there. See, we had both told each other about our past relationships/flings with other people, and his were mostly overseas during his business trips. He would make "dates" with people online about a week before he would go overseas and then hook up with them. He kept telling me through the course of our entire relationship that he would never cheat on me. Yeah, I heard that one about a million times from other guys and it wasn't true at all. So I had every right to be insecure and not trusting of him. You know what he told me that finally made me realize that he was telling me the truth? He told me not to judge him based on the actions of others. Which is true.

Christmas time came around and he was supposed to come back to visit me in Phoenix. At the very last minute (about 3 days prior to his visit) he called and told me that he can't go as he needs to be there for his mother due to her possibly having cancer and she needed to have that checked out. Looking back at it now, I was being very selfish as I still wanted him to come regardless. :( But I was heartbroken. All these thoughts filled my mind....was he trying to blow me off by lying about his mother?...will I not be able to see him until our next visit in March or April?....can I go out there last minute to be with him? I was just mentally exhausted thinking about all these things. After thinking about it and checking my finance situation and running it by my boss (who happens to be a good friend of mine), I decided to go out there and be with him. I need to be there for him since he's going to be there for his mother. Turns out the whole cancer thing was a false alarm (thank goodness) as the people at the hospital read the X-ray wrong. But being there for him through this crisis really bonded us even further.

Stay tuned for the final chapter of my love story. :)

Friday, August 05, 2005

A Love Story - Part Deux

So where was I? (I have another window open with my blog to see where I left off). Tee hee.

Ok, so things went fabulous that July on our first meeting. I was really falling for him. He was already smitten by me as he had brought with him commitment rings (the gay version of wedding bands) with him on that visit. It wasn't a surprise to me, as we had talked about it prior to his visit. But between you and me, I was wondering if it was the right thing to do so soon. I have fallen for guys really really quickly before and been burned, so I did not want this to happen to me again.

So on his first visit to Arizona, what's a host to do, but to take him to the Grand Canyon. It was so much fun.....I should say, it was fun for him as I had seen it numerous times in the 2 years I've lived here taking everybody up there. We also went to Sedona and played around in the creek.

But as soon as it began the fun ended as he had to go back home to Missouri. :( I bursted in tears at the airport and in my car. I really truly was in love.

As soon as I got home, I immediately began planning my visit to Missouri that September.

September finally arrived and it was my turn to visit, our second meeting. I flew out there not know what to expect of his "turf", and was a little nervous about the initial first impression that his friends were going to have of me. I immediately felt at home there, although I was being sort of a city snob by comparing Phoenix (big city) to Cape Girardeau (little city/town). I just saw a lot of good ole boys in their pick up trucks, farmers, etc. that I have never seen being in a big city. So I hate to admit, but I turned my nose up at them. Also, I was noticing while I was there that I was really trying to push John away and deny my feelings for him. I was being moody for no reason and just picking fights with him. I remember being in the shower one day and thinking that maybe this wasn't a good idea afterall.

About a week later I left John and Missouri without a tear dripping from my eyes.

To be continued (and I promise I won't wait more than a week to update although this is a good cliff hanger for now, isn't it???).....